


Shoes That Saved A Life

by Charishii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AHH IDK THIS IS ME JUST WRITING SOMETHING STUPID, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Rape, Suicide, Unexpected Friendship, college au in which they never met in high school, just a heads up this is a bit dark, scrap or keep?, suicide attepmts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:58:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9437135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charishii/pseuds/Charishii
Summary: He took a deep breath then climbed over the railing. Slowly, he put one leg on the side, then put the other. His back was now facing the empty air. He turned around carefully holding onto the railing for balance. When he was done, the cold wind breezed through his polo and a shiver ran down his spine. He tried to loosen his necktie and remove his shoes. Unfortunately, his shoes fell. “Damn, I really like that pair,” He cursed.ORAkaashi wanted to end his life. Bokuto thought it was raining shoes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> /breathes deeply/
> 
> OKAY. 
> 
> I tried my best in being consisent with my characterization but at the end of the day, I'm not so sure tbh.  
> And yeah, this fic is a little bit dark so read at your own risk. 
> 
> So, here you go.

The cold wind breezed through his polo and a shiver ran down his spine. He inhaled deeply and looked down below. People were walking hurriedly straight ahead like marching ants on a line and cars were streaming on the streets like a rushing river. Everyone seems to be moving forward. Everyone but him. His time and his life stopped long ago.

_“I’m gonna do this. There’s no turning back now,”_ he thought to himself.

 

 

He loosened his necktie and tried to remove his shoes with his left hand while holding onto the railing with his right hand. He was about to put the shoes beside him but they slipped and fell to the ground below. Damn, that was his best pair of shoes.

 

 

He chuckled to himself, “I can’t even do this right. I really am useless.”

 

 

He breathed deeply and looked at the sky. The sun was covered with clouds heavy with rain. “At least, the weather sympathizes with me,” he whispered. He stared for a moment longer then closed his eyes.

 

 

 

He was born from a ‘perfect’ family. They were rich and they were entitled to a lot of properties. His father is a board member of a renowned company and his mother was a doctor in a private hospital. He was always pampered and given with expensive gifts and belongings.

He always had the best of birthday parties, the finest clothes, and the coolest of toys. They were always out of town when summer comes around. They went to America, London, South Korea and many more. They never worried about money or anything at all.

People always say that he was lucky, blessed even, to be born with such great parents. They say that they would be happy if they were a part of his family. Because his life was ‘perfect’ and that he couldn’t ask for more.

 

 

But they were wrong.

 

 

His parents weren’t always home. They were often busy with their work and usually came home late, sometimes they wouldn’t even come home at all. They’d eat dinner then sleep. In the morning, they’d wake up early and leave. It’s the same routine every day. They never actually had the time to talk to their son. He was raised by a nanny who was supposed to take care of him but he was frequently maltreated instead. Whenever he made the slightest noise or play outside the garden, he would be hit by his nanny. It would always leave a mark but always in a hidden part of his body. His parents never noticed.

 

 

He tried to tell them. But when his nanny knew of his intention, she immediately interrupted the conversation and said that he had exams the next day. His parents believed her and he was sent to his room to study. That night, he received the worst beating from her. His parents never knew.

 

 

From then on, he never tried to tell them ever again. Whatever beating she gave him, he accepted it silently.           

 

 

He grew up to be a quiet teenager, only speaking when necessary. He was always hunched over a book. Because of this he always got good grades and was entered for writing competitions. He was the most admired among his peers, especially by the girls. They said that he was perfect even if he doesn’t speak nor smile at all. He graduated high school as the Valedictorian of his batch then took up the course that his parents chose for him and entered the university of their liking as well.

His classmates thought that his life was ‘perfect’ and that things were going well for him. But they never knew that it was far from that.

 

 

They never knew that it was a living hell since _that_ night happened.

 

 

He always complied with what’s expected of him. He later realized that his life held no meaning anymore. He just ghosted every day and he was nothing but an empty shell with a black void continuously eating him from the inside.

He hated himself for this. For letting them hold onto his neck and control his life. He should’ve fought but instead he did nothing. He hid all the pain and let them consume him. Because no one could ever understand even if he tried to tell them. His parents were a solid proof of that.

How could someone like him deserve to live? He had wasted his life being a servant to people’s expectations and whims. This was not the way to spend a life. This was not how it was supposed to be. He wanted to start anew. He just wanted to be normal and experience the simple joys of living. But it’s too late now. The least he could do was to find a way out.

_You can’t choose the way you’re born but you can choose the way you die._ He recalls reading from one of his favorite novels.

 

 

“ _That’s right. I still have a chance to choose for my own. I still have one chance to take hold of my life,”_ he thought _._

 

 

He searched the net for different ways to die. Slashing one’s wrist was the most common. Followed by hanging, then drinking sleeping pills, and jumping off buildings or train stations. There were other ways too but these things were very prospecting for him.

He tried to slash his wrists first. He took a blade from his medicine cabinet one night then started slashing his wrist in the bath tub. At first, it was painful. But after a while, the pain dulled and he kept slashing again and again. Eventually, he lost consciousness. He thought that it would go well but he woke up two days after in a hospital.

He then tried to hang himself. The rope closed in around his neck and the wind blew out of his lungs. He was making weird noises because his body was traitorously gasping for air. He almost, _almost_ , died if it weren’t for one his maids who found him and cut the rope.

The next in the list was drinking sleeping pills. But since he didn’t have any prescription from a doctor, he was denied from buying them even though he offered them thrice the price of the medicine.

Which left him to jumping off a train station or a building. He didn’t want to cause trouble for his own intentions. He didn’t want to become a nuisance so he chose to jump off a building instead of a train.

 

 

He chose the building near the Shinjuku ward. Since his last name was well-known because of his father, he was easily granted access to go inside the building. He immediately boarded the elevator and pressed the last floor’s number then he looked for the staircase that led to the rooftop.

When he opened the door, the cold wind embraced him. His knees were shaking but it wasn’t because of fear. He walked to the railing and took in the scene around- _and below_ \- him.

His father was abroad for a business trip and his mother was conducting a research in Great Britain. He didn’t have any classes today, as it was a holiday. In other words, the perfect time to just jump off a building and quietly disappear. He was wearing his most favorite white polo, blue necktie, and his best pair of shoes. He even combed his dark wavy hair. He put down his bag and looked at his belongings; his family picture taken at his father’s office, a plain notebook, his favorite novel of Haruki, a sandwich, and a bottle of juice. _Nothing special, really._ He thought.

He ate the sandwich first, his favorite, of course, and drank the juice that he prepared. After that, he glanced through his notes, it’s kind of like his diary where he writes his feelings down; and opened Haruki’s novel. He read his favorite parts then put it back inside his bag. Lastly, he took the photo and stared at it.

 

 

“A perfect family, huh. You’re not even here to say goodbye to me. You never ever said that you love me. You weren’t even there to protect me,” he said then tore the photo into pieces and let it drift through the winds.

 

 

He took a deep breath then climbed over the railing. Slowly, he put one leg on the side, then put the other. His back was now facing the empty air. He turned around carefully holding onto the railing for balance. When he was done, the cold wind breezed through his polo and a shiver ran down his spine. He tried to loosen his necktie and remove his shoes. Unfortunately, his shoes fell. “Damn, I really like that pair _,”_ He cursed.

He inhaled deeply and looked at the sky. It was gray and rain was threatening to fall. He took in the scenery in front of him. The buildings, the sky, the flock of birds that were flying across the horizon, the busy people walking below, and the streaming cars. He took in everything and silently bid his goodbye.

 

 

“At least, in this one moment of my life, I’m in control,” silent tears slid down his face.

 

 

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and counted from ten.

_Ten._ His father and mother left for work that night.

_Nine._ His nanny was in her usual drugged state. There were dark circles under her red eyes. She hit him on his back, stomach, chest, arms, and legs with the metal clasp of his own belt. It was the first thing that she could get her hands on.

_Eight._ His body was full of cuts and bruises. It hurt all over.

_Seven._ He was in his room, curled like a ball with the lights turned off.

_Six._ His nanny came in with a stranger, they were both laughing and the man looked at him, _“You ain’t bad, aren’t you?”_

_Five._ The man went to his bed and grabbed his wrists. He tried to break free but he was weak.

_Four._ His nanny closed the door and the man undressed him, _“Come now, be a good sport. We’re just gonna have some fun. It won’t hurt.”_

_Three._ The man undid his belt and his erected penis came into view.

_Two._ The man turned him over and inserted his penis into his anus. Pain seared through him and tears were streaming down his face. He begged for him to stop. But he paid no attention and thrust at him again and again. He cried for help but…

_One._ No one was there.

 

 

When he opened his eyes, he let go of his hands and prepared to fall.

 

 

But someone held him back.

 

 

“What do you think you’re doing?” A male voice shouted from behind him, “Do you know that you’re gonna get yourself killed?”

 

He turned his face around and he saw two golden eyes staring at him with fear and concern.

 

“Seriously, dude. You’ll _die_ if you jump from there,” he said.

 

He snorted, “Well, if it isn’t obvious enough. That’s what I’m trying to do. So please let go of me.”

 

“Are you crazy?” the man said frantically, “Why would I let you go? Why would you even want to die?”

 

He turned his face away, “None of your business.”

 

“It is now. Let’s talk this out.” The man’s fingers were slightly trembling but firm.

 

“Why? What would you benefit from helping me?” he asked, “I’m just a stranger to you. So why bother?”

 

“Because I care and I don’t want people dying in front of me,” the man replied.

 

“So if I die behind your back, will it be okay then?” he retorted.

 

“Of course not! It’s still the same, you know.”

 

This was not how he had imagined this would go. He just wanted to die peacefully and now this man is holding onto his arms tightly so he wouldn’t fall. He’s getting tired from all the emotions pent up inside him. He could feel his energy getting drained. He just wants this all to end.

 

“Please just let me go,” he pleaded one more time. His voice was weak and soft.

 

“No, I’m getting you out of there. Just hold still,” the man tried to lift him but he resisted.

 

“I told you to let me go already! I just want to die, goddamn it!” his voice was now raised because of exasperation.

 

“But why? There are a lot of people on their death bed right now who wish they’d have another chance. Why would you want to die?”

 

At this remark, something snapped inside him, “Because life is such a bullshit! And I don’t want to live anymore. There were a lot of things that I wish hadn’t happened to me. There were things that,” he sobbed and inhaled deeply, “things that destroyed and dehumanized me. And the worst part is,” he was crying hard now that he was struggling to breathe, “No one was there to help me. No one was there to help me when that man raped me.”

 

He bawled, recalling how painful it was. He was scared and he couldn’t even do anything to defend himself. What’s worse was it happened countless of times after that and the man likes it rough. Sometimes he ties his wrists, or hit him with a belt. Now that his dark secret was out, he felt weak and exposed. He was crying and shouting and cursing his nanny and the man who ruined him and stripped him of his dignity and identity. He cursed his parents for never believing in him, for never taking notice of his bruises and cuts. He blamed everyone that ever said that his life was ‘perfect’ and that he had no right to complain.

 

He let it all out while the man was holding him in place.

 

“P-please. J-just let me go,” he begged. “I want it all to disappear. I want all of this to end.”

 

“No,” the man whispered firmly. “I’m getting you back up here now.”

 

He sobbed hard and gasped for air while the man tried his best to lift his body up and get him over the railing. He felt all resolve that he had a moment ago leave him and let the man take him up. Just as he had let everyone control his life.

 

“Help yourself up. You need to lift your leg over the railing,” the man instructed softly.

 

He did as he was told and climbed over shakily. When half of his body was on the safe side, the man pulled him altogether and collapsed on the floor. He let him cry and waited for his tears to subside.

 

It took him a very long time to calm down. When the worst was through and he realized the position that he was in, he immediately stood up. He wiped his tears away and fixed his clothes. He bowed deeply and apologized.

 

“I am sorry for all the troubles I have caused you,” he said.

 

“It’s okay. Please raise your head," the man waved his hands in front of him. "No harm done, uh, what’s your name?” he asked.

 

“Akaashi. My name is Akaashi Keiji,” Akaashi muttered averting his gaze from him.

 

“Well, Akaashi, I am Bokuto Koutaro,” Bokuto smiled brightly like the sun itself.

 

Bokuto noticed that Akaashi wasn’t looking directly at him and that his face was a bit flushed. Well, given what he had told him, he guessed that it was normal.

 

“Akaashi,” Bokuto called. When Akaashi looked at him, he continued, “You don’t have to worry. What you told me will not, in any way, lessen your value as a human being. You are still yourself and you don’t have to be ashamed of it,” Bokuto said in a very gentle voice.

 

Akaashi stared at him with wide eyes. It was the first time that someone had said something to him with sincerity and concern. He wasn’t really expecting this from a stranger whom he had just met after attempting to commit suicide. After all, his own parents had never shown him this same intensity of genuineness before.

 

“And please, next time, don’t do this again, okay? You are worth more than what happened to you. So, don’t think of yourself any less. And you could also talk to your parents about that.”

 

“I tried but they didn’t believe me,” Akaashi put his hands in his pockets, “They said that it was impossible for a guy to…get raped.”

 

“Really?! They’re the worst parents ever! They’re total assholes,” Akaashi looked up, “I-I mean, it’s not like-”

 

“Yeah, I agree. They’re the worst,” Akaashi cut him off.

 

“At least, you could open up to your friends about it,” Bokuto suggested.

 

“About that,” Akaashi rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m not very good at making any friends and socializing.”

 

“For real?” Bokuto hummed and thought to himself. “Well then, I am your friend now!” he declared then laughed giddily.

 

He is a bit uncomfortable by what’s happening but he didn’t want to be rude, “If that’s what you’d like, Bokuto-san.”

 

“Very much. So, to enlighten you, friends hang-out together. You should go to our practice tomorrow. You’ll like it.”

 

“What kind of practice?” Akaashi asked apprehensively.

 

“Volleyball practice, of course! I’m the reliable ace of our university,” Bokuto pointed at himself proudly.

 

Akaashi was still skeptic about all this. All his life, he has never made any friends. His parents never talked to him that much and never cared about him except for his reputation in public. He was abused by his nanny and her friend. Akaashi didn’t want to accept his offer. But the man, Bokuto, was showing him concern and offering him something he had never had before.

 

Bokuto was smiling and he had his hand open, waiting for his answer. He was radiating warmth that even skepticism and doubt couldn’t stop Akaashi from getting pulled in.

 

“Okay. I-I’ll try,” Akaashi answered and shook Bokuto’s hand awkwardly.

 

“Don’t just try. Do it. I’ll be waiting for you at Sendai Gym tomorrow. It’ll be fun, promise,” Bokuto raised his thumbs up, “Oh, before I forget,” Bokuto turned to open his bag.

 

Akaashi’s eyes widened. It was his favorite pair of shoes!

 

“H-how did you…,” Akaashi trailed off.

 

“Well, I was walking down the street when these shoes fell from the sky in front of me. I thought it was some sort of a miracle,” Bokuto chuckled. “That’s why I looked up and saw you. I’m glad I made it in time,” Bokuto smiled once again. “Don’t just look at it, wear your shoes already.”

 

“Uh, yeah,” Akaashi replied sheepishly and bent down to wear his shoes. When he was done, he stood up and looked at Bokuto.

 

 “Sendai gym at 1 pm sharp. Don’t be late, okay?” Akaashi nodded, “See you tomorrow, Akaashi.” With that Bokuto waved his hand and left.

 

Akaashi stood there for a moment to absorb what just happened. This wasn’t what he has planned. He was supposed to be dead by this minute and yet he’s still here; all thanks to a man with strange golden eyes, and white and black spiky hair. He wasn’t sure if Bokuto really meant him well or if he was really a good guy. But when he said all those things to him he was sure that his words are genuine and sincere.

 

He’s confused, really. He doesn’t know what to make of this _unexpected circumstance_ right after he attempted suicide.

 

So, there is only one way to find out.

 

He’s going to that volleyball practice tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> /laughs nervously/ 
> 
> Did I do okay?
> 
> And also, idk whether I should continue this or not so I'm marking this as a complete fic for now. So, what do you think? Scrap or Keep?
> 
>  
> 
> >>> UPDATE: SEPT. 18, 2018 <<<
> 
> Hi! I know it's been a long time and I promised to continue this fic (see the comments) but when I did, I almost came close to uhm doing it. So, I won't continue this fic any longer and let this stay as it is. A lot has happened but things are okay to say the least. 
> 
> To all the people who read this and gave this love: I hope for your healing and happiness in life :) I can't promise that I can write again but I'll try. I love you all.


End file.
